Why Absolutely Losing Yourself is Vital for Growth and Success
Oooohh, sweet dark night of the soul, how your seemingly impenetrable enclosure makes us feel as if there’s no way through to greet the sun. What is a dark night of the soul? I consider them to be initiations. Much like a video game, you can’t elevate your gaming experience without completing the first mission to accelerate to the next.
A dark night of the soul, at least the way I’ve experienced it, is a period of life, consecutive moments in time, where everything seems to be falling to shit. Relationships make their exits, you get your bike stolen, find your car drowned in tickets, your mental stability is declining, etc etc etc.
During these hard times, you may ask yourself, “Why me? Why is this happening to me?”
Sure, it’s easy to slip into a victim mentality, but what will that do for your growth? It’s quite easy to point fingers, play the blame game, and pretend as if suffering is an external experience projected within.
What would happen if you asked yourself, “Why is this happening for me?”
Now I know what you may be thinking, “why would getting my bike stolen be something happening for me?”
Hear me out for just a moment. If everything is energy (this is literally quantum physics 101), we attract people and experiences that reflect the current state of our own energy, and furthermore the relationship we harvest with our own self.
Take a look at what life is offering you as of late. Is it refreshing new opportunities, obstacles that keep tumbling over, one after another? When these obstacles arise, how do you choose to respond? Do you get automatically frustrated? Lash out? Get stressed, and overall reactive?
Or, do you choose to respond with grace? Do you take a moment to breathe (and don’t say you don’t have one! We can all carve 60 seconds a day to just listen to our breath). And most of all, do you ask, “What is this obstacle here to teach me? What do I need to learn/realize/embody in order to move on to the next level?”
In the thick of any obstacle, I’ll admit, it can be hard to choose this approach. I’m at a moment in my life where it feels like the rug is just getting snatched right beneath my feet, honey. Luckily, I’ve been here before and chose to see through the thickness of grief and despair. When I did, boy was the payout of liberation unmatched within not only the tools I equipped, but for the way I was able to feel.
All this to say, if you’re going through a dark night of the soul initiation of sorts, whether it be in love, finances, relationships, or career, ride the wave, baby. Give yourself grace. Why? Creativity and growth, like human life itself, blossom in the seed of darkness. When you absolutely feel as if you’re losing yourself, you’re breaking down an old foundation of self, to create and have the absolute honor of meeting the new you.
